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Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys

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A Full House

December 7, 2021 by AAAA-Admin

Despite having nearly one million residents, the island of Oahu, Hawaii can feel like a small town. Thus, I had heard through the “coconut wireless” that “Tom” and “Kathy” were expecting a baby as I awaited the birth of my own second child. Months later, I was heartbroken to hear that the baby had not survived. As I cared for my newborn son, it was painful to even imagine the depths of their grief. I was, therefore, overjoyed when they contacted me a few years later to assist them in finalizing the interstate adoption of a baby girl. After such a tragic loss, I was thrilled to play even a small role in helping them grow their family. All seemed to be going perfectly with the adoption, too: due to a brief episode of premature labor, the families had the opportunity to meet in person on the mainland and get to know each other well before the baby’s arrival. After returning home with baby “Eva,” Kathy and Tom remained in touch with her birth mother, providing updates and photos via e-mail. It was, therefore, totally unexpected a few weeks later when I received an anxious-sounding message from Kathy, asking me to call her ASAP. When I called back, Kathy picked up immediately, sounding stressed and near tears. Kathy told me she had just discovered her recent fatigue and nausea were not the result of their mainland travel and sleep-deprivation: she was eleven weeks pregnant. My mind spun and my stomach dropped: after years of trying to have more children, and suffering unimaginable loss, Tom and Kathy were expecting. It was a miracle. But what about the adoption? I had never had an adoption disrupted and wasn’t even sure how one would go about it, what if– but then Kathy’s words pierced my swirling thoughts and I listened. And I realized Kathy and Tom had no intention of disrupting the adoption. To the contrary, as much as they had longed for the baby Kathy now carried, their only concern in that moment was whether the unexpected pregnancy might jeopardize their adoption of sweet baby Eva, whom they already loved so fiercely. With a full heart and a catch in my voice, I reassured Kathy that the impending birth of Eva’s sibling-to-be would not be viewed by the court as anything other than a blessing. The mainland and Hawaii adoption agencies agreed, and Eva’s birth mother expressed delight that Eva would soon have another sibling. To this day, it touches my heart when I see Eva and her just-slightly-younger sister, and am reminded that there is no hierarchy of love in adoption.

— Carol Lockwood is a AAAA Fellow practicing adoption and ART law in Hawaii. For more information about her visit, www.schlackito.com.

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The Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) is a credentialed organization dedicated to the competent and ethical practice of adoption and assisted reproduction law. It advocates for laws and policies to protect the best interests of children, the legal status of families formed through adoption and assisted reproduction, and the rights of all interested parties.

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Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA)
859 Riverside Drive, #9
Greenwood, IN 46142

T (317) 407-8422
Info@adoptionART.org

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DISCLAIMER: The Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) website is designed for general information only. Nothing on this website establishes an attorney-client relationship with AAAA or any of its member-attorneys.  AAAA website content does not constitute legal advice from AAAA or its member-attorneys to any reader or to the general public.  The law constantly changes and varies across state and international borders.  Consult qualified legal counsel in your jurisdiction regarding your particular situation. Click here for the AAAA Attorney Directory. The names and contact information included on this site are for the purpose of searching for an attorney for a particular legal case. The contact information may not be used for commercial, promotional, or advertising purposes.

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