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Tag: Domestic Adoption

Domestic Adoption

This Is Our Family!

Sarah was sixteen and pregnant.  West Virginia was home, but she’d moved to Washington to live with her grandparents after learning she was pregnant. The baby’s father, Jacob, was several years older and still living in West Virginia.  Sarah had chosen adoptive parents for her baby: Lisa was a family doctor, Adam was a nonprofit director, and they had a three-year-old son.  They lived in Tennessee, and had been searching for an adoptive placement for almost two years.

Last May, I got a text from Lisa.  Twenty-four years ago, we were freshman roommates at Dartmouth College.  I knew she and Adam were hoping to adopt, but hadn’t seen her in person since we graduated.  “Hey, we might actually have a match.  Her name is Sarah and she lives . . . about half an hour from you?  I think we need an attorney.  Could you represent us?”

Could I?! Um, one thousand times YES!

Sarah thought her due date was May 13, so Lisa and Adam flew to Seattle on the 9th.  As it turned out, Sarah didn’t deliver until May 21st.  Fortunately, Lisa and Adam are enthusiastic hikers and the weather cooperated, so they were able to explore the Cascades, San Juan Islands, and greater Puget Sound area in addition to spending time with Sarah, her mother, and her grandmother.

When the baby finally arrived, Lisa was able to be present in the delivery room, although Adam wasn’t allowed to join them due to Covid restrictions.  Sarah had her mother with her as well, and Jacob had driven (driven!) all the way from West Virginia with his own mother to meet the baby, which he was able to do a few hours after the baby was born. Baby Luke was healthy, Sarah was healthy, and they were discharged 24 hours after birth.  Sarah and Jacob signed consents to the adoption.  Lisa, Adam, Luke, Sarah, and Sarah’s mother all left the hospital together, and spent that evening with Sarah’s grandparents.  A few days later, Lisa and Adam said tearful goodbyes to Sarah, and returned to Tennessee with baby Luke and a temporary custody order.

When we finalized the adoption about six weeks later, Lisa wrote this:

Luke was born to an amazing, bright, talented young woman who won us over as soon as we met her. We have given her our word that we will do our best to raise this boy in a way that honors her selfless sacrifice. She is family, and we are thankful.

She is also an artist, which is reflected in our son’s name: Luke is the patron saint of both artists and physicians, and also means “bringer of light.” He has already brought so much light, and we have no doubt he will continue to do so.

We are forever indebted to our friends who have shared their adoptive journeys with us, and who have helped us make this happen. Luke’s story is inherently different from his brother’s, and we are on this ride for life. We don’t have all the answers, but we know that he deserves to handle the truth of his story, in his own time.

This is our family! For better, for worse, for always.

— Janna J. Annest is a AAAA Fellow who handles both adoption and ART law. You can learn more about Janna’s practice on her website, www.lka-legal.com.

Filed Under: AAAA News, Adoption Attorneys, Adoptive Parents, Featured, Fellows Public Tagged With: Domestic Adoption, Infant Adoption

POSITIVITY, PATIENCE AND LOVE

My agency, Adoptions of Wisconsin, had the privilege of helping Laura and Paul with their adoption. They are inspiring in their positive approach, especially considering that the Covid-19 pandemic hit just as their lives were changing in ways they couldn’t imagine.

Like many families pursuing adoption to build their family, Laura and Paul began their adoption journey after struggling with infertility. It was natural for them to consider adoption, given that several of their friends had adopted children, or had been adopted themselves.

The adoption process was neither easy nor swift; Laura and Paul noted that some parts moved quickly while others went more slowly. After beginning to work with Adoptions of Wisconsin, the couple felt that, “Once you finish all the paperwork and other steps it seems like it should be easy, but that’s when it gets tough.” While this can be a common feeling for waiting families, Laura and Paul made the best of their down time.

While waiting, Paul and Laura made a determined effort to stay positive while using their time to learn as much as they could about adoption and parenting. Knowing that their lives would drastically change once they had a child, the couple also used their time together to have fun and stay busy by traveling and going to concerts.

Even while striving for positivity and hopefulness, many couples still experience worrisome “what ifs” in the adoption process. Laura recalls that while facing the possibility of not having a successful match, the couple had some difficult conversations that gave them “some focus, control and helped us put things in perspective.”

After a two-year period of waiting (mostly) patiently for a match, Laura and Paul’s long wait came to an end rather abruptly. Just like that, they were matched with a birth mother… with only four days to go before she was due to give birth! Although it was exactly the news they had been waiting for, it was also the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. This brought them a great deal of uncertainty and worry. The couple remarks that, “It seemed like the worst time to get what should be good news, but as it turned out, a newborn was a great curveball and diversion for the two of us and our families!”

Unbeknownst to Laura and Paul, their adoption journey was not over and the hardest part was yet to come. Their son, Liam, encountered some frightening health complications a few weeks after birth. Laura and Paul recognize that this obstacle could not have been controlled or prevented and that it was the scariest point of their journey. After several days in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU), Liam thankfully recovered and could return home with Laura and Paul. The family reports that Liam has been healthy and happy ever since and they were able to start writing a new chapter in their story shortly after.

Reflecting fondly on their adoption journey, Paul and Laura feel extremely fortunate and believe that every single hard bit of the adoption process was worth it to bring their amazing son – this child who was destined to be theirs – into their lives. The couple also feels incredibly grateful for his wonderful birth mother, with whom they regularly communicate.

Laura and Paul have spent the past year watching Liam grow, play and learn—especially witnessing his progression in learning Spanish at his daycare. Although the pandemic has limited what families have been able to partake in, the silver lining is that Paul, Laura and Liam have been able to spend a significant amount of time together. As pandemic conditions improve and as Liam gets older, they are looking forward to traveling and sharing more experiences as a family.

In hindsight, Laura and Paul stand strongly behind their decision to adopt. With the help of a great support system of family, friends, and Adoptions of Wisconsin, they were able to stay positive and focused on building a solid foundation for their family while waiting to share their love with a child. Laura reflects, “It’s not an easy path, but it is very worth it,” following up by teasing the next chapter of their journey: seeking to share their love with another child through adoption!

— Lynn Bodi is an Attorney and Shareholder of The Law Center, S.C. in Madison, Wisconsin (www.lawcenterwisconsin.com). She practices both adoption and ART law.

Filed Under: AAAA News, Adoptive Parents, Featured, Fellows Public Tagged With: Domestic Adoption, Infant Adoption, Infertility, National Adoption Month

Adoption Celebration – A Different Perspective

I had such a wonderful meeting over breakfast this morning with one of the women I advocate for through her adoption plan. She always looks so pretty, but today she arrived wearing something extra special… She shared that the beaded jewelry she wore around her waist was custom made to adorn her growing belly. She says she plans to keep the jewelry after her pregnancy as a momento of the child she plans to place with the incredible adoptive family she has chosen.

Adoption isn’t easy. Growing life inside of you then placing that life in the hands of another isn’t easy. Which is why I admire her so much for this thoughtful gesture. Indeed, tears have been and will be shed, but she is also allowing herself the space to celebrate this time, to cherish the memory of her pregnancy. She looked for the good in a hard place and found it.

I think that’s the key, the great big secret to happiness… not to somehow dodge all the tough stuff, but to find (and adorn) the beauty within it.

— Written by Malia Price, Destiny Adoption Services & Consulting, Inc.

Filed Under: AAAA News, Birth/Expectant Parents, Featured, Fellows Public Tagged With: Domestic Adoption, Family, Pregnancy

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Mission de l'AAAA

L'Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) est une organisation accréditée qui se consacre à la pratique compétente et éthique du droit de l'adoption et de la reproduction assistée. Elle défend les lois et les politiques visant à protéger l'intérêt supérieur des enfants, le statut juridique des familles formées par l'adoption et la reproduction assistée, et les droits de toutes les parties intéressées.

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Académie des avocats spécialisés dans l'adoption et la procréation assistée (AAAA)
859 Riverside Drive, #9
Greenwood, IN 46142

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